What are the duties of a Groomsman?
What are the duties of a Groomsman?
There are many couples that find themselves pondering the question: ‘What is the point in Groomsmen?” You may feel that other than being the male equivalent of bridesmaids, balancing out the photos nicely, they are somewhat defunct. If you’re due to be a groomsman (who is also referred to as an usher in some parts of the world) at a wedding, you may wonder, “what are the duties of a groomsman?” Here is a little blog post to enlighten you as to the role of a groomsman.
Everyone knows roughly what the job of bestman entails. There are some rings to look after and delivering an embarrassing speech. However, the role of the ushers (or groomsmen, depending on how you like to refer to them) is a bit more ambiguous.
A long long time ago groomsmen were tasked with bringing the bride safely to the ceremony (read: more likely that they were to drag her there, if she didn’t fancy it.) and may have needed to fight off kidnappers/other clans etc. While today’s groomsmen may not take such a dramatic role in the celebrations, they aren’t just for propping up the bar.
The following list isn’t exhaustive. Depending on where in the world you are reading this, there may be other duties expected of groomsmen relative to the culture, or type of ceremony a couple has. Also, I mention brides and grooms a lot. Groomsmen still have a huge role to play in same sex marriages…but are possibly referred to as bridesmen, at some of these unions.
BEFORE THE WEDDING DAY…
- Assist the groom and bestman in the lead up to the wedding day
- Help organise the stag/bachelor party
- Attend suit fittings
- Attend the wedding rehearsal (in the UK these are usually just for religious ceremonies)
BEFORE AND DURING THE CEREMONY…
- Arrive early to help lay out reserved seating signs, attach buttonholes and be told the plan of where guests need to sit.
- Greet guests alongside the groom
- Hand out orders of service to guests
- Direct the guests to their seats
At most weddings the general seating arrangements are that immediate family and bridal party sit in the front few rows, other family behind them and then all other guests behind family. Traditionally, the bride’s guests are on the left and groom’s guests are on the right (if you’re looking down the aisle from the back of the room) But more and more couples are going for a very relaxed ceremony seating plan and just ask guests to sit wherever they like….which kind of makes an groomsman redundant for this particular task.
- Ensure the doors are closed once guests are seated, so that no one gets an accidental peek at the bride before she walks down the aisle.
This job is dependent on the ceremony venue. If you are in a religious building, expect this task to fall to you. If you are at specific wedding event venue, this job is usually undertaken by the staff.
For many groomsmen, the ceremony tasks are the only thing they think they are expected to do. And in a lot of cases it’s all that the couple have thought about asking them to do. But there are plenty more uses for groomsmen! (for example Dan and Zoe’s groomsmen modelled various bits of construction paraphernalia…no I’m not sure why either.) Read on for more relevant duties of a groomsman!
AFTER THE CEREMONY…
- Help the photographer with their group photo list
Have a pencil in your pocket and mark off the group photo list as they happen. Be ready to round people up that are needed. As a photographer I generally expect that I am not going to be offered assistance by a helpful groomsman. That’s not a ‘woe is me’ kind of statement. It’s just that I expect that I am going to be rounding everyone up by myself as the groomsmen have often disappeared to the bar by this point. The more helpful you are, the quicker the formal photos will be!….And you’ll have a very grateful photographer.
- Move decorations, left over orders of service and confetti
If everything is happening in one place, it is likely that there is a whole team of staff ready to transform the ceremony space to be utilised later in the day. In which case, grab yourself a drink and go and throw some confetti.
If you are moving from one location to another you will be required to do a quick check of the seating/pews to make sure no one has left anything behind. Gather up any orders of service that have been left on seats, or that are still in the box and decorations that need to be transferred to the reception venue…do double check what belongs to the couple. Wandering off with pedestals of flowers that are the property of the church, won’t go down very well.
- Keep an eye on timings.
This job is particularly relevant if moving from one venue to another. The couple will be wrapped up in mingling with their guests, straight after the ceremony. Knowing how long it takes to get to the reception venue and the time of the wedding party’s expected arrival, will let you know when to encourage guests to move along.
If the wedding has no specific wedding coordinator (for example of the venue is dry hire, a marquee, or a venue that doesn’t normally host weddings) It is worth knowing the time when the food is being served, so that guests can be instructed to take their seats.
If you are an engaged couple reading this, it is worth making a list of tasks for the groomsmen and having your bestman or one of the groomsmen take charge of allocating the jobs. Generally groomsmen aren’t chosen because of their organisational skills. They have been picked because they are the best friends or relatives of the couple. Letting them know what is expected of them isn’t bossy, it will simply help your day run a little smoother.
If you are going to be involved in a wedding and haven’t yet been told what your duties are as a groomsman, check with the couple and send them a link to this blog.
I always love to help my couples with advice for their big day. If you are looking for a knowledgeable, female wedding photographer, who captures relaxed imagery, throughout the UK and abroad. Take a look at the Interlace Photography image galleries and get in touch.